Hole in her Heart
by brightlightsbrighterdreams
Summary: It's the first day back after the summer holidays, and the start of a new school year at Abbey Mount. It has been over two months since Harriet was expelled for starting the fire, but Poppy can't shake the feeling that she's not okay. Will include Drippy, Josie, Kiki and Kate, as well as Poppy/Mrs Kingsley (because their relationship is so cute) and maybe some Poppy/Freddie :)


The dorm is quiet without the girls.

It's the first day of term and Poppy is the first to arrive- her flight got in at 6am, and she's pretty exhausted. She had quickly signed in and dragged her trunk up to the dorm, avoiding Mrs Kingsley's welcome and the flurry of 'hello's from other girls. She had cried when her dad and Molly had squeezed her tightly as she headed into the departures lounge, cried again when the plane had taken off from the hot, LA tarmac, and now, here she is, in the dorm alone, curled up on her bed. Crying again. She's shivering too; wishing she'd remembered how cold it was in England.

She's not sure why she's so upset. When the truth came out about Harriet being responsible for the fire, and the nasty email, she had been so happy. She had realised how happy she truly was at Abbey Mount. But now, she hugs her knees and acknowledges her fear. All she wants is the girls to get there, and for them to hug her and say they'd missed her over the holidays. For things to be like they were. But she's terrified about their arrival, terrified that they might be cool or distant with her. She can't cope here without them. But she's so scared it will be different. She's worried she'll disappoint people again. The girls, Mrs Kingsley... her mom.

She knows she's not okay. She knows she hasn't been okay for a very long time.

There's a delicate knock at the door.

Poppy roughly wipes the tears from her cheeks and hastily shoves her phone under her pillow. Now she knows about the decoy phone trick, she's not willing to let Matron lock hers away.

It's not Matron though. Poppy realises she should have guessed by the gentle knock. Matron's was always more of a rap.

It's Mrs Kingsley, smiling and asking if she can come in. Poppy dredges up a smile and nods.

'Sure,' she says, trying to sound chirpy.

Mrs Kingsley closes the door behind her. 'I didn't get a chance to speak to you at the end of last year, Poppy. I wanted to-'

She breaks off as she notices the tear tracks that have stained Poppy's face, and how vulnerable the girl looks, shivering and lonely. Her expression changes, to one of concern.

'Homesick? Or... something else?' she asks gently, moving to sit on the end of the girl's bed.

Poppy tries to smile and reassure her that it's nothing. But her eyes betray her, filling up with more tears that threaten to spill over any second.

'I'm- fine,' she chokes out, as the tears start to course down her face.

'I knew there was something the matter the moment I saw you down in the grounds,' Mrs Kingsley says. 'You're not yourself, Poppy. You seem... flat. Where's that fieriness and spirit gone, hey?'

Poppy tries to compose herself, but starts to cry harder. Mrs Kingsley stands, and in one swift movement she is next to Poppy, gathering her into a hug. She waits until the girl is calmer, then speaks.

'Do you want to tell me what all this is about?' she asks, very gently.

Poppy shakes her head. 'I'm fine,' she says, scrubbing her face with her sleeve.

Mrs Kingsley looks at her. 'Poppy-'

Poppy cuts her off. 'Sorry, Miss. Just- I just found it hard saying goodbye to my dad, and my sister. I'm fine.'

Mrs Kingsley looks doubtful.

Poppy turns on her kilowatt smile. The one she used to use to get her own way, and the one she still knows she has stored somewhere.

'Really, I'm fine. I'd better finish unpacking.' she says. 'I'm sure Kate and the others will cheer me up when they get here.'

The headmistress stands, still searching the girl's face. 'Alright. But Poppy, please come and see me if there's anything you want to talk about.'

Poppy nods, although she has no intention of letting anybody see her cry again.

The woman pauses by the door. She hasn't forgotten how sad Poppy looked in the Honour Court. She hasn't forgotten the way she spoke about her mum, and about having a hole in her heart. Mrs Kingsley's own heart is literally aching as she remembers. She turns to face the girl.

'Poppy, I- I thought you were very brave in the Honour Court, you know. It took a lot of courage to stand up and speak the way you did.' she says.

Poppy wants her to leave, before she cries again.

Mrs Kingsley opens her mouth to speak again, but is interrupted by a shriek from down the corridor.

'Girrrrrrr-uls! Mobile phone colleeection!'

It's Matron, and Poppy swears she sees Mrs Kingsley swallow a laugh. Poppy can't hold back her own giggle.

Mrs Kingsley smiles. 'Try to stay out of mischief, Poppy.' she says, before gently closing the door.

Poppy gives it a few minutes before running up the flight of stairs to the toilets. She doesn't want to see anybody looking like this, and to her relief, the corridors are clear. She scrubs at her red-rimmed eyes and splashes her face with water. When she looks normal again, she makes her way back to the room. She can hear giggling from inside, and when she opens the door, she is pounced on.

'POPPY!' shrieks Drippy joyfully, squeezing her so she can barely breathe.

Kiki is hugging her too, and before she knows what's happening, the three are capering round in a circle.

'Oh it's soooo good to see you guys,' Poppy cries as they finally let go and flop to the ground.

She realises she means it. There's no atmosphere whatsoever, and within five minutes, she is munching on one of Drippy's Wagon Wheels, and sharing noisy stories about what she did over the summer, in amongst fits of laughter, loud conversation and the blaring of music from Kiki's ipod speakers. When Josie gets there, they do the same mad dance around the room, squealing with delight. When Kate, the last to arrive, pokes her head round the door, reuniting the five girls, the noise gets so loud, Matron bustles in to shout at them to quieten down.

The butterflies in her tummy and the tension in her shoulders start to dissolve. It's as though she never left.


End file.
